I broke my heart in Central New Jersey

I didn't expect it at all...we had a pleasant dinner the previous night and she called me back after reading the letter I gave her. That conversation was strained and a bit awkward, and I felt as if she had taken others' opinions before calling. My friends were right, perhaps I should have just tried to hit and quit it. But there was no inclination from my side and I was uncertain if she would go for such a thing. Our families loosely knew each other so it was probably best that the developments did not lead asking such a question.

Next day, met her at work. It was my idea and she looked so beautiful. The whole time she was distant, somewhat amused by my jokes but not entirely focused on me. I left feeling as if my heart had been torn apart. I don't know why but it may have been because we shared so much over the phone before meeting that this type of ending was just really crushing. Definitely more so for me, since I was openly displaying my attraction towards her.

I would meet her again at any time but I'm not sure if I would hurt myself in doing so. I've cried about it, and every time I think of her face a knot forms in my chest.

I'm very upset