...cause me to confront the way i live my life and how disapproving i am of it. there have been so many separate incidents in the year to date that gave rise to very deep introspection and doubts of my willingness to commit to a life of earning money for sustenance and fulfillment. not knowing my limits may indicate an awareness of significant potential but i tend to treat it as a means to avoid suicide my minimally fulfilling expectations and obligations conveyed by those closest to me. please spare me this note as i am trying, struggling to maintain order and understand what it means to have direction, to effectively communicate and to identify with others in a way that will find me in a peaceful and productive place
i live in a world oversaturated with information and i dont like it. i hate basing decisions on other peoples' opinions. all that i love in a woman is trapped in the body of someone whose father is disapproving of me. i am impetuous, greedy for money and increasingly intolerant of a society that markets chemical solutions to traumatized but resilient and highly capable minds. of the product i do partake, and i am so scared of flipping into a world full of cartoon characters that i continue to slavishly feed off of docility and repetition. i crave art, dynamics, purpose...
...yet the day's nearly over, leaving me beset, upset and distraught
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